My name is Nneoma I am a single, hardworking and fun-loving mother of four. You are welcome to my column. My children are my world and as a mother, I would do anything for them. I and my children have a kind of relationship which others might
find strange especially if you grew up in a typical African household. My children and I grew up together. What do I mean? I got married and started having children earlier than my peers. This, coupled with my divorce made me very close to my children. They know they can discuss anything with me without the fear of being judged, condemned, or ridiculed.
As mothers, we need to have very close relationships with our children especially our daughters. Many unpleasant things would have been avoided in many people’s lives if only parents took out time to be involved in their children’s lives. Being a parent doesn’t just start and end with providing the essentials of life like food, shelter, and clothing, but to also provide a child with love, a listening ear, an accommodating heart and to be friends when your child needs one and be a parent when he or she needs one; the wisdom differentiates the two. Usually, after divorce, the children are left without one of their parents.
A single mom or dad needs to provide a ‘substitute’ for their children when the other parent is absent. What I mean is, I know that nobody can take the place of their biological parent but in the instance where one parent is unavoidably missing, it is the duty of the participating parent to seek the mentorship of an aunty to mentor the female children or a big brother to mentor the male children. These should only be people who can be trusted. It is hard almost impossible for a single mom to know how to raise a boy to become a man just as it is very difficult for single dads to raise girls to women. So next time you see a single mum or dad struggling rather than judge, lend your helping hand wherever you can. Shalom!
Author: Nneoma Ugenyi
Calgary, AB, Canada