Ghanaians call life Abrabo, suffer before you get. Someone who lives it well is called obrefuo, one who suffers to get, and obra is living life, suffer to live. Life is about managing suffering and finding joy in it.
I saw a young woman lose it in Ghana and watched her walk around the street trying to kill herself, a former celebrity in Ghana. I know her story she said she worked hard followed women empowerment and it didn’t work. The young woman is a sensitive soul, she doesn’t have the ruthless nature to step on others to rise to the top. Sadly it didn’t work for her, she dated a man she struggled with and he cheated on her she tried to kill herself then but still didn’t succeed. So what did she do, she found friends who showed her another way. What counsellor lutterdott said ‘a woman’s way out of poverty’ is her vagina. That is true and an absolute fact. If a woman is beautiful especially, her vagina is her diamond farm. The girl is beautiful so they introduced her to rich marry men, who wanted no commitment but would lavish money, houses and cars for girls who would have sex with them. So she joined because she was tired of life. I hope she finds the strength to try again.
A couple of months ago I was in her place tired. I lost faith in everything I once believed in because life taught me that hardwork does not pay, women empowerment does not pay. I realise that it I focused on my beauty and spent more time there, my vagina would have made away. I do not wish to have slept with married men. Yet I wish I would have focused on finding a man who would have looked after me because I did not see what fighting and doing for myself brought me. The people I trusted and helped have become Mps, and people in fantastic jobs with salaries. They left me behind. It made me angry and bitter. I don’t believe in politics, I don’t vote and I do not get involved with empowerment. Unless it’s about the girls I’m empowering in Ghana to forge their own path.
Thankfully I have learned life is about learning and suffering. You must put yourself first, go where you’re wanted. If you’re in a place where you are not appreciated run and run like the wind. Now I’m in a job that I love. I still want a man who will look after me and be there for me spiritually, emotionally, and financially because I deserve it and I’ve realised that they don’t have to be rich but willing to look after me. I’m broke but trying to work where I find joy and people are kind. I cut my coat according to myself. You know what my pain has turned into motivation for those I work for, and the people who read my motivation column in my magazine. I’m where love exists and around love. I use my beauty to succeed too. My vagina is a way out of poverty but it doesn’t have to be by giving it to men for pay. Yet I’m using it for business, motivation and promoting issues important to me.
My point is life can hurt so bad yet suffering is a part of it. Some people suffer and choose to still see sunshine in the rain. We cannot go back but can see light forward. We have to learn to let go of the past and see what the future brings. I watch the girl with so much sadness because I understand her world is on fire yet all it takes is disappointment, anger, bitterness, and hurt from people who don’t deserve our time to get there. Surround yourself with love and love will lift you higher.
Author: Akosua Darko
creativeisme7@gmail.com
London, UK
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