Domestic Violence: Why Is Society So Quick To Blame The Victim?

We must stop right now to always point victim for being the perpetrator; the victim needs our attention, sympathy and support.  

“There is never an excuse for domestic violence” 

How often times have you come across a newspaper article about a woman who suspects  someone of abusing/raping her only to skip down and read the public remarks in the  comments section? Quite certainly, nestled amid a few well-meaning messages in  encouragement, you noticed a multitude in judgments and humiliation aimed at the  victim. And they come from both males and females.  

How does Victim Blaming Looks Like 

Terribly, she was attacked on social media, and several feminists branded her as an  “attention seeking slut”  

“If she really was being abused, why didn’t she attempt to escape?”

“Now she will pretend to be innocent like every girl” 

 “That is a normal thing, she should be strong enough to handle it” “Why it was not reported to Police by her? She’s just fabricating the story.” “She’s must be seeking attention/retribution/money/fame” 

Is it quite easier for you to assume that you are protected from violence; when wanting to  identify anything wrong about the victim-and therefore seeking a justification behind the  abuser’s conduct?  

Abuse should never be blamed on Survivor 

Nobody needs to be beaten or abused or insulted by their spouse/boyfriend. And nobody  wants to be torn apart by the public, everyone seeking for the one mistake that made  things everyone right for their partner to attack them with a knife. 

Why do some people jump directly to blame the victim?

According to Sherry Humby, a Psychology Professor at Sewanee University “There’s also this very common tendency for people to continue to believe positive things that occurred to good people, and where the misunderstanding falls in, there’s this explicit reverse: if  anything terrible occurred to you, you should have done something wrong to justify the  bad thing”. 

Elise Lopez, a specialist of sexual and domestic abuse prevention and response at the  University of Arizona, while comparing the responses to how certain people respond to  watching a picture of an obese human, Lopez says. “People imagine, ‘If I was overweight, I will go to work out each day and drop the weight.’ They don’t worry about how  challenging it would be.  

The same mentality also falls into play as people hear about domestic abuse. “A number  of people are getting an intestinal response to abuse. It’s emotionally charged guy. They  believe that if anyone is victimised, they actually have done something to facilitate it.  “Basically, if people can see a justification that violence is the victim’s fault, then  harassment is something that cannot only be managed but stopped. And it’s not going to  happen to them, in exchange. 

Survivors Get Afraid of Victim-Blaming 

Abuse and sexual harassment victims are questioned what they were carrying and if they  fight back. Poor persons who operate multiple jobs and yet cannot afford a family are  criticised for “laziness” and disappointment, while confronting a system that is skewed  against them. 

Through # Me Too and growing backlash to record injustice, victim-denial maintains a  persistent undercurrent. Study shows that this is simply a curious side-effect of a human  need for equity. Understanding that this could lead to different approaches to strike back.

Responses People Can Give Watching Victim-Blaming  

If the comments come from an acquaintance or close relative you know, or a total  outsider who feels the need to voice his or her thoughts about the circumstance, hearing  victim-blaming as a survivor may be surprising and demoralising. 

Here are several proposed answers to three typical victim-blaming statements: 1. If she really was being abused, why didn’t she attempt to escape? 

“Yeah, that’s really sort of challenging for the abusers to quit, it may be challenging for  the perpetrator to escape if they don’t have financial means, whether the offender is the  main breadwinner. Many offenders are often liable to damage children or pets until the  survivor exits. Victims also require patience and help from family and friends to create a  

protective strategy to escape.” 

2. Why it was not reported to Police by her? She’s just fabricating the story. 

Most victims may not disclose violence to the authorities because they risk retaliation  from the attacker. They may even feel ashamed, humiliated, or unwilling to let people 

realise what’s going on. Often, several times, violence is not physical — it’s social,  psychological, financial or mental. 

3. She’s must be seeking attention/retribution/money/fame 

Survivors and activists also accept that it is not convenient to disclose violence or attack,  and few people will like to attract some sort of publicity to themselves for a legitimate  reason. As shown by the aforementioned cases of victim-blaming, perpetrators also feel  that no one may support them as or when they experience violence.  

Instead of dwelling on victim actions, we need to raise more questions regarding whether  criminals choose to conduct acts of abuse, and why others are able to gain much more  than their reasonable share of the life that most of us would like to see as mere.